Friday, February 16, 2007

Ripsaw Robots #3

Ripsaw Robots will be a new feature that focuses on robotics in a very broad scope. From the useless to the revolutionary to the just plain giant and fantasy, Lish will bring you all the robot fix he can find.

The question I get more often than anything else is "Lish, all these robots are great, but what about my personal needs?" Look no further, because now you can build your own robot slave for just a few dollars. Based on that delicious Roomba techology, you can order parts for your customized mechanical creation right from the convenience of your non-roboticized home.

Often we ask what is so cool about robots, in their silly quest to discover if they have soul. It appears that question is answered. Now that is smooth.

Of course, robots only like to play jazz when they aren't mercilessly disassembling lobsters. "Continuous Flow Stunner" sounds like a wrestler's or Dragonball Z finishing move. On the other hand, 'CrustaStun' has its own creepy appeal.

But if you can't beat them, pretend to be like them, as the adage should say. A NASA historian suggests we will eventually be a cybernetic race. I always loved the Borg when I was growing up; I found the idea of amplifying one's body with technological distinctiveness not a way to lose one's humanity but possibly the only way of reaching forward and claiming it. To be human is to aspire what's in the mind and make it reality, yes?

But at the end of the day, we still have the big questions to answer. Fortunately, it seems we can fix it with robots who drive the Ford Taurus, which should be around at least for a few years. Serve the public trust, protect the innocent, uphold the law or Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.

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