Thursday, November 08, 2007


Hey, Ladies.

Are you worried your monthly miracle is going down the drain? Literally? C'elle to the resuce! For a mere $1500 a year this company will take your glorious discharge and all its potential stem cells and keep it nice and safe in the event you might want it back, to, uh....well really, there's nothing you can do with it right now.

Honestly, this venture is long on optimism and short on evidence. Their product is hope, not an actual scientific technique.

But let's not be too hasty, as Dave Foley from the Kids in the Hall once said...

Cause after all, what is it? a cluster of blood vessels, awaiting a fertilized egg. Providing a safe warm place for that egg to grow. And if a life does not occur, the whole thing is flushed away, and the cycle begins again. Now is that anything to be ashamed of or disgusted by? No, this is the nesting stuff of humanity!

That's why the woman I shall love will be able to menstruate as fully and freely as she desires. Even if her monthly flow should build in intensity to a raging rust colored torrent! An unbridled river of life giving blood flowing from between her legs! An awesome cataract plunging off the edge of our couch. I wouldn't be fazed! No, no, even if coureur de bois would come up stream, battling the rapids, and singing a 'jaunty song'! I would take no offense, rather I would ford across that mighty womanly river, and fetch herbal tea and Pamprin. And then I would mop her brow and admire her fecundity. For I...Have A Good Attitude....Towards MENSTRUATION!

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